Just recently my boyfriend told me that there was a young boy who had shot himself in the face because he was depressed. He told me that at the young boy's funeral, his face had to be remodeled with clay. My boyfriend didn't know this boy personally, but they went to middle school together. This got me thinking...how could you ever have the guts to put a gun in your OWN face and PULL the trigger? I know that I'm writing my paper on suicide and shiizz, but I just can't imagine what it would be like to kill myself. I understand what it's like to go through real bad things, but I always think about what there is left to live for. I wonder, what could that boy be thinking? Right at the moment that he told his finger to pull the trigger on the gun, what are the thoughts that are running through his mind? Did he think about his mother? His father? His future? Wasn't he scared? Wasn't he afraid of what would happen when he died? Did he think that everything was going to be better after he commited suicide? I dunno...but sometimes I think about what happens when after you die? Where do you go? Or do you even go anywhere? I dunno...sometimes I think so much that it scares me...so I just stop thinking about it....so I dunno really...just something to blog about...