Spring Break and Homework

They should never mix, by the way.
To be completely honest, I have not spent much time thinking about english. I had homework in all of my classes and those assignments seemed more entertaining than this one, so here I am, attempting to finish this one over the weekend, before I head off to work and deal with whatever crap awaits me there.
4 aids on the floor last night. ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.
Not only that, but because I work full time and go to school full time, I have neglected a lot of things over the past few months and so I had to take time this week to get things organized. The baby is going to be here in two months. I am on my countdown. And I dont like feeling unprepared.
And I do.
My mind is in total baby mode. Not to mention that I have this horrible pain in my side that wont go away and I dont know if it is baby kicking me or if it is my gallbladder, which apparently can become quite abnoxious with women in their third trimester, and I itch all over. And when I say all over, I mean even my fingers itch. And that is really unpleasant. And when you are feeling overweight and overworked and overtired and overstressed, it is hard to focus on school.
Where was I? Oh yes...
BABY!
But I am incredibly excited. I tried to get his room together, but its hard because I know that I am going to be having a baby shower when his family gets back from Mexico. That's right. We were supposed to go to Mexico for his sister's wedding, but Mexico and 7 months pregnant just did not seem to mix. So here we are. At home. Grr.
So, about this who paper thing...
I re read what I wrote from my first draft. Finally. I never like reading my drafts because I am always afraid that I am going to look at them and go "UGH" and then feel like a huge failure and have to start all over. I dont know if I was critical and I still dont exactly get what it means. I think I came up with some new ideas, but what do I know. I do know, however, that I need to take a good long look at the course goals and really focus on them, because I didnt give two craps about them the first time. I just started writing. There was so much in my brain that I just had to get it out on paper. It felt good, but now I feel overwhelmed again because I sort of feel like I am back at square one.
I dont know if I am on the right track or not.
I think a good start for tomorrow would be to do an outline and try to figure out what I am trying to do with my essay. What I got out of it in the end was that America needs to work with the Arab world, not focus on taking down Bin Laden, because bringing them up and raising their confidence will take away his power. Therefore destroying his following, at least to a greater extent. But I dont know if that is critical or if that is just me spouting off my opinions. I think I might try to incorporate what I wrote last Friday into my paper, becaue I think that what I came up with then was more critical, per say, but it needs refinement. Do I have to come up with new terms? Random generalizations about what I think are not going to help me now. I need to dig deep.
This is frustrating. Thinking is difficult.
On the topic of these blogs...
Shank's blog was really interesting. When I first opened up his page, I thought his layout was awesome. I loved the pictures and the even the style of text he used. It looked academic (can somehting look that way?). But I really dont think it was. I think it was a man at him computer reflecting on his thoughts and the thoughts of his community and really isnt that all a blog is? It wasnt academic inquiry he was engaging in. I think it was just him trying to make sense of a lot of different ideas and concepts. It was interesting (though I was lost reading some of the post, I admit) but he didnt say anything new or do anything or change anything. He had some unique thoughts, but everyone has those. Are there any stakeholders in his blogging? Yes. I think people who are a part of his community care about what his ideas and thoughts and reflections are. He is an important member of their society and when he talks (or blogs), people tend to listen. Perhaps someone is taking his ideas and actually using them to perform academic inquiry. I dont know. Do I think he was critical? Perhaps. I think at times he started going somewhere, but it never went far enough. And it didnt have to. This blog appears more professional on the surface, when you look at the structure of the opening page and its layout. It looks professional. But I dont think it is entirely. He is not opening up about his personal life, this is true, but he is not attempting to address anyone specifically. I dont believe that he sits down at the computer and considers what he going to say and who he is going to address before beginning his writing. I think that he just begins to write. He is writing about a profession and about academic topics and therefore his work may seem more professional, but I think it is more personal. I think he is really just trying to write what he thinks and feels, about what his opinions are and what he believes is important and interesting and unique.
I absolutely loved Dooce's blog. It had me laughing. I read her three part labor story (seeing as I thought it would be relavent) and I really enjoyed her writing style. She made me feel as though I was experiencing things with her. I have a lifestyle that is similar to hers. I have my home, with my fiancee and our cats and our soon to be new edition. And all those mundain aspects of life really dont seem that mundain when you are happy with your life. Her talking about her morning routine or her children or something funny her dogs did are all part of what makes life great. It is what your life is made off. And so I could really relate. I think though that she is playing to an audience. She writes like she is speaking to a crowd. She knows how to keep you engaged and she writed with a purpose. There is a topic and there is an ending. It is not purely random. But that is ok. She makes her living this way. She is good at what she is trying to sell, and that is her life and her experiences. Is she critical. In her own way. In her labor story she has some moments of thought provoking change and some interesting things to say about the birthing process. But I dont think what she has to say is extra ordinary. Would the world go on without her blog? Of course. She has not contributed anything of great importance. Her blogs are merely reiterations of her daily life. There is nothing that shows to me that she is on a quest to answer questions or understand her ideas any further. She is just writing about what she is experiencing. And she is good at it. And that is what brings people back to read more of her work. She has a huge stage to work with. The internet has given her the chance to share her life with people all over the world and that is the amazing thing about the internet. It connects people and life experiences and you realize that we are not so very different from one another. One thing bothered me. All the advertisements on her page. When I first opened it, I thought I had gone to the wrong site. It made everything at first seem really impersonal. But it is a business. It just gave it a feeling of being disconnected. I didnt like that.
I may go back and read more about both blogs.
But for now, I am just glad that I can go and do something else. I think I will go read over my A and P notes for my test coming up next week. That sounds exilerating.